[Wanted1]

I hear you about managing expectations. I’m definitely trying to. I’m hopeful, but also realize that there is a pretty good chance she’s too far gone for anything to change her mind and feelings. I really don’t understand how or why and probably will never know or understand.

I guess here's an opportunity to be optimistic. Right now, she IS too far gone for anything to change her mind and feelings. But, what might change her mind and feelings, if anything, is time and space. Time enough to let the bad feelings wear off, time enough to realize that the good feelings weren't as permanent as she thought they would be. Space to allow the time to do its work.

There's no silver bullet.

Totally agree. I'm being pleasant around her. Asking how her day went at the new job, etc. General small talk. I will not engage in any R talk at all. That is my #1 priority/main goal right now. If she wants to engage, I'll listen and validate, but I am absolutely done sharing my thoughts and feelings with her. 1) because I've already done that too much and 2) anything I say right now is twisted into some sort of a negative anyway.

I know some on here advise that I shouldn't be chit chatting with her about routine stuff, but I tried not engaging in any talk with her for a couple days this past weekend and afterwards, during our last conversation about our situation, she told me that I was once again "shutting down." That is one of the things that she claims to be an issue with me in the past. That I would give her the "silent treatment" and she would be constantly wondering what she did wrong. Seems ironic though when I think about it. She wants time and space from me but then when I truly give her time and space she accuses me of shutting down like I've always done. Apparently its a very thin line. I'm going to try to remain friendly and engage in general conversation with her and remove any and all possibilities of anything moving into a R talk and see where that gets me.