Feeling lost, scared and wanting to fix this. Pt 3

[Turbine]

Church last night. Good lesson. I wish my sleep schedule were more normal. Couldn't tell you half of what was said during the sermon. Not good.

Slept better last night though. Took a non-addictive sleep aid, which the name eludes me at the moment, and made it to 4 AM. Normal schedule would have had me awake at 2 AM after going to bed at 10 PM. I know I know, that will catch up to me sooner or later. Really need to take a cruise ship vacation. Sleeping on the ship, gentle rocking motion. About the only good thing about being stationed on a ship during my service. Okay... I got to meet my W that way too.

W apparently didn't go to church last night. Mostly feel disappointed about that. She got home from ??? just as I was leaving. So I left the door unlocked. Just as in she was getting out of her car as I was walking out the door to the house. Was tempted to ask her about going with me to church. I didn't. Not sure why she didn't go. Not asking her either. Yes I am still to worried about her and whatever she is doing.

Talked with BiL about getting off the phone plan with her and get a better deal.

Brought some containers in from outside and have let them sit for a few days so when I go to use them they aren't brittle. Going to start packing up photo albums from my parents. Those are mine anyway so shouldn't get the lawyers bent out of shape. Although atm I am thinking the lawyers can go get bent.

Wondering about the minister I have been talking with. He knows what is going on. I haven't kept him current on the sitch with the W. more on getting me to a better place spiritually. Since he travels in the district and at some point may run into my W, I don't want anything he says to seem to have any connection to me in any way, shape or form. Too late after telling him anything. Too many mistakes early on.

Still reading Gordie. Picked up about musings from AmyC. Applicable to me? IDK. Give me hope... sure. To resolve this with a MR 2.0? Waiting and working on Turbine 2.0 first. Then we see about the MR.