PsySara, thanks for checking in. Given your particular specialty, it is concerning that you see cause for concern. Don't know if you recall, but he is a member of yours and your H's profession. I am very concerned about hurting him at work. I still don't think he is NPD. I think his stress has exacerbated some narcissistic traits and perhaps created a character trap. I think he is BPD and massively PA and the fear of abandonment/loss is freaking him out. He is very subtle about everything he does, and relatively careful about limiting his exposure to being revealed, but there are definitive things I can use against him if need be. I think he filed for divorce to keep OW2 happy as part of a deal to move in with her (I think he couldn't keep the demons at bay alone anymore), but now the days are ticking by and he is getting worried that I am not trying to stop the divorce or beg him to stop it.
One fact I found disturbing. I have long suspected that the daily texts (and more recently calls) to the kids were about me. I just found it odd that he would do it and not ask to see them and the content was often something that only I would get. Once I contacted him about a stupid letter his lawyer sent (I predicted he would use the case to up the ante when I did not respond to the other stuff), he stopped contacting the kids for a week. He had really been spinning and calling (unusual) and never did talk to them, hear from them, or see them, but then suddenly he stopped when he heard from me. I think that by my reaching out to him calmly and asking him to meet with me to wrap up the issues in the divorce before year end satisfied whatever had him spinning. He said he would meet me, and then claimed to be busy for a face-to-face meeting and asked for a call to set up a framework before meeting in person (he's had a draft 24 page agreement for two years--no need for a call on framework).
If I'm not mistaken, Cluster B's struggle hugely between October and January. I'm just hoping to get through this period without much more drama.
