Still Lost pt3

[lost8]

After months of limbo and back and forth and extended conversations with lawyer and IC I decided to set my final boundary. I have fully detached and am prepared for moving on with or without WW.

Last night she wanted to be flirty with me and I refused, I am done with that behavior. W decided that she was not in the wrong after her waywardness and that I was disappearing as well without letting her know. She had been drinking again and things got heated. I told her that we needed to sign an agreement about moving forward with separation. After declining and her getting abusive with me I informed her that I have info on her fraudulent insurance claim on her wedding ring that she sold after settlement. I have had enough and I know this is against all rules but I am there.

Initially she was infuriated but after an hour or so of hostility she came to me and started her acknowledgement of wrong and what she needed to do to make things right again. I instilled the final boundary that the A must stop now or I am gone and will press forward. There was a lot of heavy emotion and her acknowledging that she doesn't want to lose me and had been waiting for me to fight. She is afraid that I will not be there for her if she ends A and I could only confirm that I will do my best if she makes that choice but will never know until she ends it and that it will be a long road but would commit if she did.

This morning she asked me to stay home from work and after another IC visit where C confirmed that this boundary needs to be set and enforced because I have gotten to that point where I have detached and can move on. When I got home W was very upset how I could threaten the legal action about the fraud and I told her it was necessary to prove that we are at a crossroads and I will move on if she does not respect me and our marriage. She has been very quiet and we only spoke briefly but I fully intend to defend my actions and ask what her next move is.

I'm sure I will get varied responses but it has been through DBing and reading about codependence and NMMNG that I have been able to find myself again and take my balls back. I will not be disrespected and will be ok either way. I have found a happier life and only find pain and sadness when she cake eats and tries to pull me back. I have become emotionless to her actions and feel like I am just doing it out of habit. I have also told her that I will not engage in an further physical contact if she decides to not end A.