She's a lost soul and can't understand why you won't be friends. She's still living in La La Land and thinks that what she did shouldn't have hurt you or anyone else in the family. Friends do not do what our former spouses did to us. People who are of a rational mind, would know that if you created such a mess, you will not want to be friends w/them. You can forgive them, but you won't forget the really bad behavior.
Let those comments roll off your back...she's just out there.
Sit quietly, the answers will reveal themselves when you least expect them to. The past is gone, the present is a gift and you need to focus on today, allow the future to reveal itself when it is ready.
