13 years and two small children

[Hurt213]

Sandi,

I have a question regarding interactions with my ex, after having followed your advice (told her that I am done with her, that she treated me like garbage, and that I want nothing to do with her - and told her to find another place to stay).

She was very clear the other day, that even though OM didn't necessarily work out, she wouldn't want to be with me because of the things that didn't work out in our relationship (mainly me becoming ill, not giving her the opportunities to travel and see things. She also thinks, that because she is 31 and has the kids, the house, and the job - that she is missing out on life, and that it will be great for her to get her own place, decide things for herself and live by herself) <-- Is this a WW or simply a WAW that tells me that she is done and that I should really just let go (I am going to now anyways, but im curious to the things she told me) She said that her psychiatrist had told her to leave me, because she would end up with a depression within the next 6 months if she didn't. And that all the things she felt about living by herself were great, and because of that, she should indeed be leaving the relationship.

There will be times where I will have to interact with her (us both being in the house for example). I will try to to GAL as much as I possible can to avoid being near her, and I really will make the best effort I humanly can to walk away for my own sake, and let her choose to reach out if she chooses to, and if not, then I am on route to bigger and better things im sure.

But she has refused to leave the house previously, and she might again, and then I will have to see her from time to time, as I am home (can't GAL everyday), I also need to just spend time with my kids in our "safe and relaxed" environment aka home.

So when those situations occur, how do I engage her if she reaches out and wants to smalltalk about everyday business? how to act around her in general?

Do I show her, that I am cold, not wanting anything to do with her anymore?

Do I act content, happy and cheerful but without the need to look at her or talk to her?

Do I act content, happy and cheerful, and listen to her, and smile at her?

This is really hard for me to figure out.

I understand that the only way forward for us, is to go our separate ways for now, and I will be pushing for ending this inhouse seperation, because it is really unhealthy and it is fundamental for her cake-eating.


I really need some guidance in how to act as of now because I will have to fake it to make it for a while, I now it gets easier with time, but for now, I will most likely screw up without the correct guidance.

Thank you so much.