A familiar story with questions EIGHT

[Rose888]

You talk a lot about "honest communication," and you seem to think that your wife saying "maybe" when she really thinks "no" is not honest communication.

Do I have that correct?

If so, I think you need to adjust your expectations.

It does sound like your wife would benefit from learning to express her thoughts and feelings more directly. But I think it is unrealistic to expect her to adopt a communication style that avoids the sort of social hedging that most women (most people?) use and understand.

Sometimes the way you talk about communications gives me the impression that the only communication you think is honest is communication that fits the Asperger's stereotype. If that's a true reflection of your attitude, then you need to change, not just your wife.

Did you get all that from my stories?

Okay, what do I do with that? Get checked for Asperger's?

Yes, what I wrote is what I see when I read your posts here. I have no idea if what I see matches reality, because we see only a tiny sliver of life here on the boards, and always from the view of the poster.

But if you think I might have a point, then you might want to start by reading books about different communication styles, so you can broaden your empathy and increase your flexibility in this area.

You've mentioned communication issues with your daughter before, so improving your communication skills in general might be helpful.