13 years and two small children

[sandi2]

I would be very careful what you share with your WW. I would not tell her anything your therapist says, unless you are instructed to say it.

Look Hurt, this living arrangement is very unhealthy for you, especially considering your history with depression. When she lives under your roof and is going off to sleep with OM for a week at a time, it's like shoving your teeth down your throat. How will she gain any respect for you, as long as she sees you sitting back and enduring this onslaught of disrespect from her? It's not going to happen. Not from a wayward W.

I wanted to confront her so badly with the information that she had reengaged in the OM affair for the third time now. (if you can call it an affair after her and I ended our business), and I wanted to confront her about being on birth control after our many conversations regarding them. I did neither because I was instructed to always come here for advice before I do such thing.

It's not enough to just confront her! She would lie her way out of it, and make you doubt your own sanity. WW's do it all the time. It's called gaslighting. You have to do more than just confront her. You need to dump her and tell her you are through with her, instead of trying to say things to convince her to stay in the MR. You need a plan. IMHO, you should tell her to pack her things and get out. Tell her to go stay with her girlfriends, OM, or whoever....... cause you don't want her. That's how you have to say it. You don't want her. This is the only type of action that will win her respect. If you'll stick to your guns and not go weak and try to talk her into trying to work on the M, this will work better than anything else you could do. It will probably take a physical separation and some time for her to see that you aren't going to chase her, but nothing you could do would be more attractive than for you to walk away from her.......(except kick her out).

She told me that she had been together with her girlfriends in the weekend, and had told them, how she had ended things with me, and was now going to be a single mother. Her girlfriends had been appalled by her doing, and urged her to think about things according to WW. To me it seemed like, she didn't really pay attention to what they said, instead she seemed to be enjoying that they had their full attention on her, and that she was somehow special. It is sickening.

That's b/c what they tell her makes no difference. It's what YOU tell her that counts.