[Wanted1]

[quote=Wanted1] We are scheduled to talk to a religious advisor (the priest that married us who is a very good family friend of my W and her family) next week. Maybe the miracle I'm looking for will take the place in that discussion, but I'm not going to expect for that to be the case. My W is pretty distant from me at this point.

What is the meeting about?

This is basically my shot and, quite frankly, MY last effort in busting this D. My W admires and respect this man very much. He's a Catholic Bishop now, so he's obviously going to be pro-marriage. I think if anyone can talk some logic and sense into her, it will be him. She's always been very religious and spiritual (ironic considering the 3 extramarital A huh?!) This is probably where the miracle from above will take place if He intends us to stay together. However, I'm not expecting anything to happen. What he says will probably go in one ear and out the other much like everything else that's been said to her has. I'm still going to work on detaching in the meantime and will be adamant about NO R talk between now and then.

Well, you can’t say we didn’t warn you...

Yep, guilty as charged.

She's really hung up on me "invading her privacy."

This one always steams me. A serial cheater claiming she should have an expectation of privacy.

Wanted, what are you trying to save at this point? I really do think people deserve a 2nd, or even 3rd chance. But 3 A's??? At some point you might want to just cut bait and run. i know this is an anti-D board, but sometimes D is what a LBS should go after.

It really aggravates me too. SO MUCH. But I can't do much about it.

Steve, I hear you. I often step back and think to myself "why the hell am I trying to save this?" I don't mean this to sound preachy at all, but for some reason God is telling me to fight for my M. I've prayed so much and have never gotten a feeling that I should just give up and cash in. Lately, though, I do feel more comfortable and calm with the realization that I'm likely to be D in the not so distant future. That doesn't bother me as much anymore. I've been praying for my own strength as well. Maybe those prayers are being answered now, I don't know.

To be honest, if the meeting I'm speaking about above doesn't offer me any hope of moving toward R, I think I'm just going to count my losses and move on. I'm comfortable now with that outcome and I don't think anyone can say I wasn't justified or that I didn't at least try everything in my power to save my M. I take comfort in both of those.

She's of course using my "blow up" (if you want to call it that) and the conversation last night and text exchange this morning as proof that I'm not changing the way I said I'm going to. I told her I can't just flip a switch and that I warned her that I wasn't going to guarantee I can change overnight. That I might fall back into that trap, etc. and that I'm human and make mistakes. I guess if she wants to base her entire decision on my mistakes over the past 24 hours, then so be it. Nothing I can do or change about it. I can make it a point to do better in the future however and I vow to do everything possible to do that.

Wanted, why in the world are you trying to negotiate with a lying cheater. I don't call her that to make you mad, but to hopefully remind you what you are up against. She is a wayward wife. She lies. She cheats. You can't negotiate, reason, beg, plead, etc. with a wayward. She will twist everything up and use it against you and make you out to be the bad guy. That's classic deflection. Stop throwing ammo to her to make bombs out of to stuff down your throat. Read what we've been telling you and don't just say " thank you all" and ignore it and do your own thing (which up to this point is EXACTLY what you've been doing).

I'm done talking R (I know, something I should have done 7 weeks ago!). Nothing good ever comes from it and anything I say, she either focuses on the small negative or implies whatever I'm saying in a negative light.

Just like we've been telling you all along!

She can't let go of the negative and never acknowledges anything positive.

Right, that's what WAS's do. We call it "rewriting history".

We are scheduled to talk to a religious advisor (the priest that married us who is a very good family friend of my W and her family) next week.

WHY??????? Seriously, it's a waste of time. If she was one foot out the door that would be OK, but she's two feet out the door.

I know I've made mistakes and I appreciate everyone calling me out on them. I'm learning, albeit slowly. That answer to your last question is addressed above.