Just keep swimming, I think I can, I think I can part2

[marina7]

Journaling and some prayers needed,

So tomorrow W and I are meeting in GAL,

Remember after s9 horrible abuse caused by W
W now wants to do 1 week on and 1 week off

Ok I was honestly ok with this, after W claiming
W loves Trios just differently, ok whatever that means.

I never wanted to take kids away, I have accepted W and I
I just wanted the Trios together since day one I have stood
my grounds just keeping Trios together.

But now since s9, I am now simply Protecting mode
Always been very protective but now is more. I know W
Is going through her dark moment, I also know if a stranger
would have hurt any of my kids I would press charges.

I am just a mom who a momma bear.

My concern about tomorrow is
Gal is emotional involved Gal have stated
I know you and W can work things out I have hope
For this family. Gal state there's to much hurt in W
Where I once again understand but to me and what I
Have read about GAL is for kids be our kids voices
This GAL has not done that. To me GAL seem to
Be more concerned about W. Example that happened
In last GAL meeting before we went to therapy.

W, I feared for my life, I needed to find myself I lost
Myself, I was trapped, all you cared was about Kids.
You broke me M you broke me.
M I understand I am sorry you feel that way. I knew
When I became a mom it's was about them. I am
Sorry again you feel that way.

Well after that I get a call hours later from GAL
And in conversation GAL said well M you didn't say Sorry
You said "Your sorry W feels that way"
I then said Yes I am sorry W feels that way.
Gal well that wasn't an apology

Now this is where I am not sure. I did everything I been told my
Lawyers and therapists to listen and nod and if you know W
Is simply rewriting story you simply acknowledg and say I am sorry
You feel that way. Which I meant and still do. I can't control W feelings
But I am not sorry for things I never did. I won't apologize to something I
Didn't do.

So here I am asking my online family to
Please pray and give me any advice for tomorrow.

I am aware I won't sign anything because this could affect s9
Case and I believe my kids. I feel I am being forced to sign
But s9 won't be heard I want our son and all my kids to know
This mommy believes you I am standing with you three.

I will take all 2x4 and advice for tomorrow mediation.