I feel that way too today FS. I'm at work today...trying to concentrate on the things I need to but find myself on here while everyone else is eating pizza in our boardroom (I don't do carbs). Today I am just sad and tired and feeling very "woe is me", "I didn't deserve this." My H told me yesterday that he is "trying to be the best person he can be" currently. That is the way with him... he is always trying, never actually doing. That statement to me is laughable. In other words, I will just cut out anything in my life that makes me feel bad about myself (i.e. you DV6) and keep the things that make me feel good and then I will be a good person. Uh...no...wrong... that is a short cut... how about taking a hard look in the mirror and start to take some responsibility for your choices. Make some REAL changes. Man, there is a part of me that just wants to go OFF on him. But no...I smile, I nod, I choose my words VERY carefully.
I am so wanting to let him go. I mean, it would be such a relief to just not think about any of this or at least have no sadness when I do. But GAL is a step-by-step process and I find that I take one forward and then one back. And sometimes, in the moment, I feel like I am taking one forward (like in my discussion with my H) but then, later on, in reflection, I realize it was actually a step backward. So frustrating...and exhausting...and painful.
