I think she also said she went to a friend's yesterday. I just got around to looking at the car app today. Looks like her car was parked in a parking lot by OM's parent's house, which is also by OM's apt. OM may have been moving back to his parents' house, but she was at OM's parents' house for a while during the height of the affair. So this is concerning.
Well, she said she was going to a friend's, and she considers OM a "friend", so I'm sure she thinks that technically she didn't do anything wrong. Who thinks like that? A wayward wife, that's who.
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I also called her in the later afternoon and she didn't answer.
Red alert.
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I hate playing super sleuth. I hate this feeling of uncertainty. My strategy before was if she wanted the OM again that really there was nothing I could do about so don't go snooping and worrying to death. If she left, I'd know it. And last night, she came home.
Well part of DB'ing is we say not to snoop because the info you gather can be very confusing and easily misunderstood. But in piecing when a former cheater is involved it's not unusual for the LBS to demand full phone access and vehicle tracking. That would be controlling in a normal relationship, but recovering from cheating requires some pretty drastic measures so the WAS can rebuild trust with the LBS. I suspect your W would never allow such access, which is a red flag in itself.
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I see no point in confronting it yet, b/c what am I going to do if she did see OM?
That is the real question, what will you do. I don't care if she says they are just friends, if I'm married I would not accept my W going and hanging out with an opposite sex "friend" at his house, ESPECIALLY if she's not telling me about it. So assuming it happened, what would you do? Figure that out first, then confront her about it and be prepared to take whatever action that is. If and when you confront her, don't tell her how you know. It's enough that you know. If you tell her how then she will A) make you out to be the bad guy for snooping and B) go deeper undercover, like turn her phone off so you can't track her.
