None of us do. But this entire process is one rejection after another (big and small). The little recoil from our touch, the little side step when you walk past, the looking down when you catch their eyes. And it [censored]. We are all left wondering what, if any, our worth is. I think that's where db'g, 180 and GAL comes in. It helps us deal with it in a way that is healthy. Yes, it is a consolation prize, but it is a prize none the less and sometimes that is all we have. Eventually, if it progresses towards D, hopefully we are in a place where it is all we need.
Originally Posted by RR17
As for any motive? Well, that would assume that it was premeditated. It was not.
I know, but it was less about motive and more about expectations (hers not yours). Whenever I WFH and H was also home, he (or I) would initiate. He would drop the girls off at school, come back, and we would spend half an hour or so upstairs. Like you, we often didn't have the house on our own so we took advantage. In the months after BD, we still continued with this routine. But it was not the same. There was an atmosphere (we can still do this, but we can't look each other in the eye any other time). As the months drew on I started noticing that he wouldn't come back after dropping the girls off. He would go to the gym, have breakfast there, read the paper and then do a workout, sometimes he would also have lunch. Was he avoiding me because he thought I expected sex. Absolutely. Did it hurt like a MF. Yes it absolutely did because this man couldn't keep his hands off me right up until the day he told me that he wasn't sure he 'loved me like that'.
Originally Posted by RR17
Hindsight's 20/20.
Hindsight's a [censored] but it does allow us to think about how we could do things better in the future. That's the advantage of this forum. You get objective feedback from people who know what you're going through but who aren't clouded with the same emotional baggage as you when looking at your sitch.
We have enough of our own emotional baggage to deal with trying to navigate our own sitch's .
Now get back on the horse (something that is said to me on this forum frequently :))
I'm glad that you can see the positives in it. It sounds like you're doing really well. One small hiccup but you pulled through it.
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