One other thing, like earlier posts saying to not get other women involved when I GAL, I also read that we don’t want to use jealousy to get the wife back... don’t recall if that was from DR or another book, or article. W has been asking me more frequently now if there is someone else or if I have someone on the side. This temp checking right? I thought what DR said was that we let them know we want to work it out and that there isn’t anyone else but that’s it, don’t offer much more than that. I’m guessing this was for a WAW and not WW, who needs to be handled differently, yes? Do we even need to reassure them for their sake? I’m thinking what for.... it’s probably a temp check or their guilty conscience so why bother satisfying her either way? Am I missing something?
Her asking is a good thing b/c she is curious. Just tell her "I was out with friends". That's it. You are not trying to make her jealous, but at this point it is really none of her business plus you are telling the truth. If she thinks there's another person in your life, that's only her thoughts and not reality. It's a temp check.
Don't focus on "showing" her the "new you" and just be yourself - a person who is committed to being the best person while still being humble. I hope this makes sense. I mean to say, don't flaunt your changes, settle into your 180's and be natural.
H 34 W 29 BD 3/12/18 Divorce Busted Spring 19
It is not things that bother us, but the stories we tell ourselves about things.
