My WAS - looking help and thanks in advance PART 5

[ovrrnbw]

First MC session went well but now I have another dilemna.

W had the day off yesterday b/c the kids she watches were sick. Said she was going to go to TJ Max, Here Today.

I think she also said she went to a friend's yesterday. I just got around to looking at the car app today. Looks like her car was parked in a parking lot by OM's parent's house, which is also by OM's apt. OM may have been moving back to his parents' house, but she was at OM's parents' house for a while during the height of the affair. So this is concerning.

I also called her in the later afternoon and she didn't answer.

I called her once earlier afternoon and we talked on the phone for a couple minutes. W was asking about going to my mom's house with me last night. W wanted to know if she was invited by my Mom. This was about the same time her car was parked, according to the app. Even the day before, W was considering going or not so why would she be asking if she already had plans with OM?

I hate playing super sleuth. I hate this feeling of uncertainty. My strategy before was if she wanted the OM again that really there was nothing I could do about so don't go snooping and worrying to death. If she left, I'd know it. And last night, she came home.

The other dilemna I have is that W is adamant about it not being an affair. She keeps going back to "I was done. I was planning on a divorce". I'm to the point where telling the truth and being firm doesn't help b/c it just leads to the same argument. For those that have been following, W never moved out, never separated finances, exploited me financially, and is now on her 5th "try" with me. Every time she stopped "trying" it was with a lie, a deception, or not a peep. Are we here again? And if we are what will I do? I see no point in confronting it yet, b/c what am I going to do if she did see OM?

A few days ago, I told W that we may not see my mom for Thanksgiving b/c she may not want to be around us (specifically my W). W was telling my how my mom is wrong for not wanting to see her. She brings up my Mom's divorce and how she thinks my mom had an affair. I don't know if my Mom did or not but I've never asked. And even if my Mom did, it doesn't justify W doing it as well.

So the takeaway is that W wants her life to go back to easy street and sweep everything under the rug. Everything her and her counselor talk about is about other people and how they have screwed up. Her counselor told her it's not an affair, W said. W has not focused on any of her wrongdoings yet. Well I'm sure W isn't telling the truth, but oh well, it's out of my hands.

W think the MC is not good and wants to find a new one. W's IC said that the MC may not be neutral. So W wants to find a new MC. She also brought up seeing the priest who married us b/c we did have some great pre marriage meetings with him. I have a message out to him.

I think I need to go back to keeping my feelings to myself. W does seem to appreciate some pursuit - for example I turned on her heated seat for her. She even said she wants to be taken care of. OK. A few weeks ago she sounded pleasantly surprised that I had called her on her commute to work in the AM. She is wanting to be held and hugged. I've been helping her when she asks to do a project around the house and trying to make it fun. I've been going shopping with her. We haven't kissed, and she hasn't been wearing her ring all the time but sometimes. I asked her about it, but I'm going to stop that.

Good Lord I wrote a book!!!! And I was all over the place, so thanks to all that read it.