Determined now as I move forward..

[Dtrmned]

Thanks for the input everyone. I purposely haven't been on for a few days.

Nothing new happening. W has signed her lease. Is paying rent at the new place. But currently still living at our current home in the spare room. More logistical than anything as kids are temporarily going to different parts of town at the same time and it would be impossible for either of us to accomplish this by ourselves.

Had a couple of discussions regarding D settlement issues. Have made some progress. Large ones are still looming. Funny. These seem to be the easiest for me to deal with and the toughest for her. Her constant comments about "Men, all they care about is money". Are humorous since that is ALL she is focused on during this. Dogs, who cares, furniture, split it, but you are asking me to pay some part of a bill? how dare you! We are married! Believe nothing they say.

It will only be days now until she is moved. No set date, but I imagine it will be before Thanksgiving, or very shortly thereafter.

We haven't fought. Except one bad discussion during one of the settlement talks. We ended it too late and we had both already taken our jabs. One very sad and heartfelt meeting when we were talking more on the emotional stuff dealing with the kids, dogs, etc. and how it is going to affect them. We both were very emotional. Although not reaching out physically, we both reached out mentally and supported one another as best we could. It was an emotional discussion and just felt both so normal to have that with her yet so unreal to have her refer and treat me like someone she cares about. We didn't dwell. Just got through it and moved on.

She has made a few comments on how she doesn't know how she is going to make it. I validate and move on. I'm not taking the bait on this one. Her choice. Not my problem. My only concern is our children. They are doing well. I'm concerned on the holiday situation and I am assuming that she will be gone and it will be an "exchange" type of holiday. Half with them, half without. I just want them to have fun and spend time with them. Christmas was always magic at our home! Christmas eve, great dinner, music, hanging out together then of course Christmas morning with waking up coming down stairs to the tree, the pageantry, the fun, their eyes filled with joy.

New memories moving forward!

Nothing else to report. Work is ok, need to get into that more (probably after thanksgiving". Still working out and a few GAL activities. No real bad days for awhile. Its still in my mind and I imagine it will be for sometime as the time does its thing and fades the pain, hurt and moves the heart on.

I still get dumbfounded at times at what she does. She made my favorite home made dinner on Sunday. She can't eat it, my daughter doesn't, son does so it was just for he and I. Don't know why she did. Maybe it is her way of just saying goodbye. Watching her slowly take things out of our home is distressing. At first, I was very upset. Now, after almost a month of "little here, little there" she has taken nothing big (it's coming soon) but now its just no big deal.

I believe I will be better once she is gone. I know it will not be easy, but I know just from her moving into the spare room for 3 weeks not that I have detached so much better. The connection of us sleeping in the same bed gave me so much false hope. I'm seeing her now more as a person and not my wife and partner. Her flaws, always there, are more pronounced. I see her still losing weight (dangerously thin, bmi has her anorexic). She is pale, sleeping all the time, complaining about her health yet never wanting to discuss or share so I don't know what is really going on. She has her old go to and standby's if she wants to blame anything and I wouldn't know if it was true or not other than the fact I have been with her for over 20 years and have taken care of her through all of the health stuff for over 10. No idea how she is going to handle this on her own.

Back to the day at hand!

As always, any comments are encouraged. This is a rough part of this journey and I think it will become darker as it happens prior to the light reshining again. Please, reach out and give even the smallest feedback.