Wanted, you are spinning out of control. Stop. Breathe. Relax. Center yourself. You joined a whole month ago and now you are ready to threaten her, kick her out, teach her a lesson, separate. This will all backfire on you in ways you can't even begin to understand right now because your mind is a whirlwind of emotions. Right now your focus should be completely on yourself and the kids. NOT YOUR WIFE. Pull back. Give her time and space while you get out and GAL.
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Can I ask why? I should just go along my merry way while she continues to fake like she’s struggling so hard with what to do all the while maintaining contact with OM?
Sounds like the biggest pushover, whimpy, weakling thing to do......
No the wimpy thing to do is to beg her to stay, to rub her feet, wash her clothes, make her a nice dinner, all while she's having an affair. But kicking her out isn't a healthy solution either, not this early in the process anyway. Those are the easy paths. What is the RIGHT thing to do, the HARD thing to do? LEAVE HER ALONE. Pull back, give her time and space, work on yourself, get out, GAL.
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My “showing herl is by finally telling her that I want her to move out. If she’s not willing to take time and space away from OM to focus on our M and R and what she wants, then why should I allow her to be in this in house separation and get all of the benefits of being married?
It's her house too, you're not "allowing" anything. She has legal rights. Again, go dark. Work on yourself. You want to punish her, which tells us you are in the wrong frame of mind right now. You've got to pull back and collect yourself.
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She hasn’t felt any loss or consequence from her actions. If she’s living away from our house and seeing the kids as frequently as she would if/when we divorce, she might finally understand the reality of this situation.
It usually doesn't happen that way. She'll probably be happy to finally have the independence she thinks she wants so much, at least at first. If you push for S or D, you have to do it with the right mindset, which takes time.
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I honestly am at a point where if she leaves and doesn’t come back, I’m going to be OK.
I've seen this happen before, where the LBS thought they would be OK with it and then once it happened they spun into some really nasty depression because it didn't bring them the "relief" they expected. Again I think you are doing this as a reaction to the hurt, you want to push a button and make it go away. There is no magic button though, it takes time to recover.
