A familiar story with questions VII

[RR17]

Well RR, just take what happened as a bump on the long road both of you both have taken. There have been some previous and don´t know how many in the future.

You have been a patient man RR, You love your W and you are commited to your MR. Keep getting the possitive outcome of your R with W. Next Sunday do a 180 and you get out on the morning. Let time be the pressure valve: keep it open.

Patience RR

Thanks neffer. And thank you Rose888, AnotherStander, DejaVu6 and FlySolo. I do appreciate your input.

These things happen and at least for me, it takes some time and feedback to understand what exactly did just happen. As for winners and losers? I'm interested in moving toward a healthy R.

It sometimes gets frustrating when although I have tried my best to paint an accurate unbiased picture of the turn of events and still my eloquence fails me.

As for any motive? Well, that would assume that it was premeditated. It was not.

As I read some of these responses I sometimes cringe. You're correct, she didn't want to have sex. I would have no way of knowing this without initiating. All signals seemed Green. Guess what? I don't like to get rejected either. Yes, it was pressure. If she had said yes, would it still seem like pressure? Back before BD, this time of the week was a favorable time to initiate. Hindsight's 20/20. Every other week I am serving at our church. This time? I did nothing except supposedly have a look, which W could never have seen across the dim room and she didn't have her glasses on anyway. Why did I say "Because I said so"? Because I didn't have a good reason. I hadn't planned this out. I was pissed about the ridicule and wanted, no I felt I deserved a more honest answer.

I will say that there was a win. The win being that we have moved on fairly rapidly. W came home last night and started telling me that the heat in her old building isn't working and rain leaks into the closet blah blah blah... I stopped what I was doing. Which was composing a response on this DB forum. lol. I gave her my full attention.
She didn't notice my haircut, but what's new? We watched an hour of classic TV and went to our respective bedrooms.

All in all, this is positive progress. In the past, W would have held onto her position (that I was ridiculous for thinking..) regardless of the fact that she had admitted it, and would have harbored resent for at least a day or two. She would have never listened to my position (that all I wanted was honest communication) without judgment. Yet now she did.

Making sausage and DBing isn't pretty but can be well worth it.