Thanks Kiwi. I haven’t talked to a lawyer. My sister was a family law paralegal in her first career so I have an idea where this could go. I know that I have some time as neither of us can file until we have lived apart for a year (with both of us knowing about it) so I have ten more months before any real decisions need to be made. My H still feels very responsible for everything so I know he would make some sort of declaration before he would go to a lawyer. He would want to avoid that at all costs and likely want us to work things out amicably. Even with his D18, there was no court order. He just simply paid what he was required to pay and when things came up, we worked it out (me and D18’s mom mostly). So there was never any court involvement.

So my H was here tonight and we talked about the kids. He told me there is no big story with the family at his house. He said the mom’s health issues (surgery #3 tomorrow) have complicated the plans they had of moving. He said they were all going to move into the basement suite and he felt bad for them. He said he didn’t need the extra room so he told the daughter she could keep her stuff there. And the boy has some stuff in the garage and one of the rooms downstairs. He says he hardly ever sees them. He seemed really sincere and again, I would be shocked beyond belief if he made up the pancreatic cancer thing just to hide an affair... not when he knows my history. He has a lot of admiration for my dad even though they never met. I don’t think he would dishonour his memory that way. My H is confused and has made some really cowardly and misguided decisions but he is not purposely cruel. He told me that my phone call to him “ruined” his day and that he felt like “sh*t” afterwards. He has so much guilt, it is very easy to ruin his day unfortunately.

Before he left, “to lighten the mood”, he showed me one of his favourite Saturday Night Live skits with Ryan Gosling in it. He and two other actors are being interviewed as people who have been abducted by aliens. It is HILARIOUS!!! Felt really good to laugh with him. His sense of humour is something that has always drawn me to him. Laughing with him is something I really, really miss. Anyway... one day of work tomorrow and then it is five solid days of pool. I cannot wait!!!