The daily reflection I read daily was resounding regarding my sitch: Non-attachment doesn’t mean that you get rid of your spouse. It means you free yourself from wrong views about yourself and your spouse. Then you find that there is love there, but it’s not attached. It’s not distorting, clinging, and grasping. The empty mind is quite capable of caring about others and loving in the pure sense of love. But any attachment will distort that.
Journaling:
W continues to sniff around edges, but took it up a notch today. Called me today (completely a change from new norm) after she picked up S from school and asked if they could come over to pick up some hot wheels for S....(Hot wheels??). S has an arsenal of cars at her place. Just said I had GAL plans and wouldn’t be home. W then asked about my plans and how I was doing. After attempt to stop by tonight fell through W then says she left her heaviest cost at house and wants to pick up tomorrow...but makes a point to see and ensure if I could be there.
My walls are up at max capacity.
Question - Without projecting her possible intentions, any suggestions on what I need to look out for? I maintain no expectations...
On a bright note...GAL included men’s group, 7 mile run, gym to lift. Also met with IC and she said I looked like I was in my mid twenties now...was nice to hear.
Me - 38 W-37 S6 M 10 years T 13yrs BD 3/18 W moves out 4/18 W files 7/18
