[Wanted1]

All I can say is I agree with you that all that stuff is frustrating bull turds. Especially the “time and space to figure things out.” She has figured them out, she just doesn’t have the guts to say it because it might wound her already fragile sense of self to seem like the “bad one.” I mean, if she’s anything like my W.

So? She’s already the bad one!

But: cool it. Take some deep breaths. Sleep on it.

You don’t want your decision to be based on anger and frustration. You don’t want your actions to be vincdictive or punitive. Being aggressive is not the same as setting a boundary. And it will come across as being controlling because it’s what YOU need.

Don’t do anything you’ll regret. This is a discussion you should have when the initial emotions have died down a bit. Just my opinion based on some of the things I did terribly wrong.

I agree with what you say, but before I found out about the continued contact with OM, we agreed to talk about things in a calm manner tonight. So don’t bring up that I know about the contact tonight?