FS... you are my inspiration and as much as I hurt that you are on this board and going through this as well, I am truly, truly grateful for your honesty and support. I think the distinction you made between being ok and yet still caring (being sad sometimes) is an important one. The idea that we can be okay but still be sad and that one does not negate the other. Like you, I do know that, deep down, I will be okay regardless of what my H does. I know that I am doing the work. I am pretty sure he is not (his work is all about convincing himself he is doing the right thing and not about looking in the mirror) but, that will be to his detriment, not mine. My life will be more authentic, meaningful and satisfying in the end. Of that, I am sure. I am sure yours will be as well.
I think that is great you had lunch with your old co-worker. I have no doubt he fancies you. Who, in their right mind,wouldn’t? [Your H is exempt from that question...clearly he is not in his right mind]. Of course you are not ready. You are a genuine, honourable person who knows herself. And you care too much about other people to make them a part of the circus. One day, if you H is stupid enough to not return, you will venture out there again and there will be many men who value and appreciate that fantastic woman that you are. But until then...
