Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 4

[Davide]

Solo,

Thanks. I did have a nice birthday. So much of it was what neffer said - expectations. In the past, I would have been anxious/stressed about who was coming or not coming, what that meant they thought about me. I would have been disappointed by the low turnout or worried about who was bored or not having a good time. This time, I simply focused on what I could control and what I wanted to get out of the experience - I wanted to share good food/drink/conversation with quality people, to enjoy the warmth of their company and hopefully to bring some positivity to them as well.

It's nice to hear that you can have such positive/casual interactions with your H. When my W and I do interact, either in person or via email/text we are both cordial and pleasant. However, both of us had been somewhat avoidant in the past. Evidently that is still the case for her. You are completely right that so long as I act according to my values (and DB principles!) I can be happy with any interaction, regardless of what the W does or how she reacts. I feel a little bad that I responded to her text after she snuck the dog back in, because that was probably unnecessary and better left unsaid since it was a reaction to her behavior. That said, she ended up replying and apologizing, saying that she wasn't sure if I had seen her message that she was coming over with the dog. It was a bit of a non-sequitur but she did seem to realize how bizarre her behavior was. Whatever.