Thanks Ovrrnbw. I think I feel that way because of how long my H has been actively avoiding me without me knowing what was going on. In my reality, my H has only been gone for two months. In his, it has been nine months. He is used to not seeing me. If it weren’t for the kids, I don’t think I would hear from him at all. He has so much guilt and shame around how he has treated me that even if he started to waiver, the sheer weight of it would quickly send him running back to safety. He is prepared to sacrifice everything we have built so he doesn’t have to face himself and feel those feelings. He is convinced that we will all be better off as long as he is happy and he does not think he will ever be that with me. He doesn’t think you should have to make an effort in relationships. He thinks you are either with the right person or you are not... end of story. My H is simply biding his time right now...
Question: I am 99.9% sure that my H will be telling me he wants a D after the holidays. He likely has not looked into it enough to realize that we have to wait a year. When he brings it up, how am I supposed to react? I have been going over it in my head and I just see it being so emotional. I worry that I am going to say or do something that only reinforces his decision.
