Feeling lost, scared and wanting to fix this. Pt 2

[Turbine]

Well, its GAE (good and early). Getting to sleep past 2 AM seems to be a problem. Okay. Going back to sleep after that is a problem. Wake up, mind is at redline it seems. Age, stress... IDK. From talking with my Dr and coworkers it seems to be age related as much as stress. Coworkers are older than I am.

Breakfast was good. Not close to home or my D place so trips to there will be infrequent. Did I say how much I hate going into Chicago. No? Well I do for several reasons. Which is a shame because there are great things to do there. Lots of negatives too, at least for me. Save that for another time.

Really questioning the whole GAL etc right now. W is on my mind constantly. Miss her. Hoping she misses me. From what I gather reading here and in the DB/DR book... maybe is as likely as maybe not.

Went to a late Halloween party w/ my S at Saturday night game group house. Was fun. Won the Halloween trivia contest. I know way too much about a whole lot of useless. Would that space be filled with knowledge about W, her language, etc. Guess this is a bottom.

Had a good day w/ the younger D. We went to the various Veteran's Day appreciations. Waitress at Hooter's is going to be off to Marine boot in the spring. D left her contact info in case she wanted to talk or had questions. Once a Marine always a Marine. Very proud of both my Marine daughters. Very proud of all my kids. W had issues with the daughters enlisting. Don't remember any of that reasoning. Not like we could stop them anyway.

Going back and reading the DR, Men are from Mars or 5 Love Lang... I don't know if it helps or not. I read fairly fast and have good retention so subsequent reading goes faster and faster. Putting into practice... Considering how well I feel I am doing with this detaching... really not at all. Conclusion, fault is with what or how I am doing this and not the process. I'd say everyone else is struggling with it too but seem to be making better progress.

Maybe time to rethink a few things... coach or not...