I think it is okay if you reach out - especially if you are close to them. My H’s mom lives with me. How nuts is that? She will always be in my life and in the life of my kids. If you want to tell them you miss them, that’s okay. Just be careful. Parents can put pressure on the WH and it can backfire. Try not to badmouth him. Tough I know when he is being such a pr*ck.
TJT... I know this is beyond heartbreaking and difficult. I know... I am going through it. But you need to find a way to take your focus off your H and put it onto you. What advice would you give a friend if they were in the same situation? Follow it. Your H may think of you, he may not. It is important to come to terms with the fact that right now he is GONE...and he may not come back. You need to be prepared for that. You sound like a pretty amazing, strong, accomplished and capable woman. You need to call on those great qualities, DB and GAL. It is the only way. I know...everything in you wants to do otherwise. You need to know that the things you instinctively want to do WILL NOT work.
Re: SM. Post if you want but only do it if you have no expectations. I, for one, have avoided SM like the plague. I just find it too difficult... like I am lying every time I go on it. I still have a lot of shame. I know, I know... I am not the one that lied to his spouse for YEARS... I am just the person who believed him. Sadly...this is not my first marriage, it is my second. My first ended mutually...two good friends (still are) who were going different directions and parted amicably. I thought I had learned EVERYTHING I needed to know about having a successful marriage but apparently I did not. I was 32 and met my H when I was 37. Sparks flew, we were inseparable from almost the second we met. I loved him with all my heart and still do. Trying to figure out a way to let him go without losing that love. He makes it very, very hard.
