I totally know what you mean about allowing “friendlier” relationships with other men. I’ve thought that too. I think because whether my H is having an A or not, I’m pretty sure he is sitting at his place feeling entitled to one. He is a part-time parent...sees his kids a few times a week for a few hours...has most of his nights free and, in his mind, he has been “single” for a long time. I’m sure he has justified it a 1,000 ways. I, on the other hand, have been without my H, in my mind, for only two months. And I don’t believe in getting involved with anyone unless I am emotionally free to do so. As lonely as I might feel some nights, I can’t really justify seeking someone else out just to feel less lonely. I think I need to grieve the loss of my M in the right way which, of course, is always the hardest way. I know, however, that my H will not do that. He will search out ways not to feel anything and to take a short cut and to not face the things he has done. Early on in our sitch, he came very close to facing himself...wanted to come home, make amends, admitted to feeling ashamed and not wanting to face anyone, said he was sorry and could never be sorry enough... and then one week later... gone. I have not seen him any signs of uncertainty since. I honestly think we would be NC like you if it weren’t for the kids. In some ways, that might be better for me but I don’t know. Mostly I would just like to run off to a tropical island for a month or two.
