Introduction

[TJT]

Well here's a quick update, after I just went to dinner with other people here.

Sat and chatted casually. Generally I did pretty good. Overall still couldn't shake the stupid feeling of "none of this matters". Having a good time, enjoying a particular food, even the times when I feel content by myself, I always come back to "so what?" I want to share it with someone, have someone who knows me intimately to listen, etc. I am extremely resentful of how much meaning he's stripped from my life by his choices and with that, the little joy I am able to feel. It comes in moments, and I feel proud in those moments and like things will be ok, but when it wanes away I still feel left with nothing. I hope that's just because of how new it still is and will get better with time.