Gordie, you love her. That is the light in all the darkness.
And you felt it so much that you had to tell her.
And you felt it so much that you had to tell her even though you
are tired of being patient
are tired
are tired of the criticism
are tired of the lack of affection
are tired of the absence of reciprocity.
That is some powerful love.
I met tonight with a priest who I consider my earthly father. He taught me and baptized me
and always reminds me what God's love means.
Once he told me that my H and I were both crucified as Christ was, one in love and one in sin,
just as Christ was,
and that my stand at times would just be me standing in faith at the foot of my H's own cross.
He was moved to a church in Canada and that loss has been very hard to bear.
He was in my city tonight and met with me and I told him what I struggle with now, I confessed the extremely dark thoughts I have much of the time now about my H,
also how I can't speak to him or look at him.
He reminded me that I am human,
that all my responses are natural to my humanity,
that only God can love in the way I want to love,
and that only God can give me the ability to do so.
He told me that I should ask for that whenever I can ask
but know that God forgives when I can't even ask -- he knows everything.
He told me to fight for my children,
trust God absolutely even if I am not able to make things happen as I think they should,
and trust that God and only God can provide me with the ability to love like that through the worst evil.
Do you like my attempt
to write like my friend Gordie?
((((GORDIE))))))))
Have you read Hosea lately?
You are Hosea right now.
I am not sure if my links are allowed, but here is Hosea studied by Tim Keller, Alistair Begg and TD Jakes in case you have to search.
