Whirlwind of Hurt 4

[Again18]

TF- Wow, tough read my friend. That moment you two hugged and you felt like you had your old W back, well she's still there. that's the truth, the things you can't believe is all the justified crap in her head. Now the work really starts. That empty feeling you had she may not have it yet, but she will. She is going to do this back and forth stuff here now. She will check you often to see if you're still available. Don't go completely dark. You two still have to deal with kids and finances and manage your lives with those things so don't stop what you are doing. She will make off-hand remarks like you seem to be doing well, wanting you to ask how she's doing and wanting you to pine for her. You have to watch this closely because in your heart you will want to share with her the ongoings in your life. You will want to apologize or tell her how you have changed. Resist this at all cost. She will notice changes if she says something shrug it off as no big deal, thank her like you would thank anyone else for the compliment. Don't explain anything to her about yourself. Keep your conversations kids and finance centered, always get off the phone or end conversations first. DON't Linger, always stay in a bit of a hurry around her like you have more important things to tend to. Please don't text her! Text messages will almost always lead to conflict so just don't. Even a simple thumbs up can get you in trouble. Make her wonder what you are up to. I think this woman is still crazy about you. I think she has justified in her head why she isn't but in her heart, she knows you are the one. Do this for a few months so that she has time to let her situation sink in. I would not be the least surprised that on occasions you will go to pick up the kids and she will ask if you want to stay for dinner. I won't be the least surprised if you notice that she always seems to need to talk to you about the kids or finances. My wife did this a lot and I fell for it a lot. I don't know what to tell you here. When my wife and I separated she sold our house and she moved into a new place. She even found me an apartment with a year-long lease. We had a couple of date nights and even traveled out of town together and spent those holidays together. Every time we did something like this together she would always pull back afterward like she was guilty of something. It sucked because I would get my hopes up that we were on the road to reconciliation only to be beaten down again with the divorce is inevitable comments from her. But you are past that you two are already on the road to divorce. So, not really my territory, because when I finally said to her fine file the divorce that was when she had second thoughts. Your wife needs time to process what she has done. This isn't' the time to be a dick this is a time to pleasant and happy, do not put on the sad face in front of her anymore. This is a time that you really give her her space to let her process. If she wants to talk about the R listen don't talk, only listen and validate but don't overdo it, just be pleasant. Pick your battles carefully, I would bet if you look back you will find you have battled for things in the past that today you realize was really no big deal in the first place. There will be a lot of these in the future and only you can do the 180 on not letting yourself go down those rabbit holes again. These will be the things she notices. TF I'm praying for you and your family a lot of us here are. God always has a plan. My prayer every day was God let us be friends so we can take good care of our children. God saved my marriage, but if he doesn't he has bigger plans for you. But God is in control now give it over to Him.