Stop using the grown children to excuse your pursuit. Stop it now. They can tell their dad what they want. Let them.
I want to add that how your current sitch effects them will largely be in response to how you behave. I would tell them that you are going through a rough patch and trying to work things out. Be positive. This is the best policy IMO. Remenber they are watching and how you mitigate will in large part prepare them for future challenges of their own. If they know that mom is navigating the sitch well, they will be okay. If they ask if you are getting a D? I would answer. "I hope not". Listen, you have no idea how this will turn out. Even when you have bad spells (and you will) they will pass and you still have no idea, regardless of what you dream.
Didn't you mention to him that he was welcome to Thanks Giving? If so then stop pursuing an answer.
If you haven't, I would let him know he is welcome and don't expect an immediate answer. If he shows, great. You must lower your expectations. For your sanity. Much of the time what he chooses to do has very little to do with you and quite frankly isn't your business, anyway. See where this is going? It is hard and it takes time. The better you do, the less time it will take. Hope this helps.
M 53 W 54, M since 98 D15, D19 8/2013 discovered EA, W maintained contact with OM until 10/14 7/2/17 W said she wanted S, 7/25/17 moved out of MBR 12/17 W says moving out 5/18, W still in home.
