So the work banquet went well. One of the things she said was missing from the marriage was that I never made her part of my work life. Heck, it took me 1.5 years before any of my work friends could meet up due to our busy schedules.
She agreed to go as long as I didn't make any PDA, etc... I was completely hands off. Had a nice dinner with some co workers (even people who know our situation-which she was always afraid of). Then after we met up with some work friends for drinks and had a great time socializing, something we haven't done in a while.
Of course, meeting new people you have to discuss how we met, where we've lived, etc... One other wife had helped her husband through med school and residency, currently have busy schedules and little time for herself.... and my W realized she is not alone here.
At home we say outside and she let me light her cigarettes. Had some deep talks about life in general and family stuff. No future talk at all. I told her she looked beautiful in her dress and she said I looked very nice myself. I said we are a dead sexy couple and she giggled and said thanks. Night ended with her hugging me.
During the night I placed my hand on her upper back--no movement or push back from her. This morning I got a hug. I looked back at the times I would get some leeway and would come on too strong, pushing her back. I will try and do things slowly and stepwise here.
When doing 180s it would be either hot or cold (not mean though). So maybe the key is some small steps with physical affection while still finding time for myself and keeping some distance while together? I will see how this formula works.
