I tend to use them so my texts can’t be misinterpreted but I am trying to cut down...lol.
Don't get me wrong. I use them too,"Trains rubbish again <angry face>". Just don't feel they are appropriate for things like, "I am not sure this relationship is working for me <sad face>". He uses them all the time now instead of words. I do too, so I can't really moan though. Thumbs up is a favourite of mine when responding to his texts.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
Or I can take this opportunity to look at myself and the things I did to contribute to this mess.
Sometimes, what I see in the that mirror is pretty damn ugly. I can be a cold hearted [censored]. I know where H's buttons are, I and I knew just how to exert enough pressure to make him feel like he wasn't wanted or needed. I own that. I am trying to atone.
I read on another thread here when I was just lurking (I think it was AnotherStander or AMOAFWL) who said that they took 50% of the responsibility for the things that went wrong in their marriage, but then their S bailed, so they were giving 5% back. So, I will only take 45% of the blame. The rest is on him.
When you start looking at your contributions, don't do it with an overly critical eye. You are only human. When you look in that mirror, don't forget to forgive yourself. Forgiving yourself is just as important as forgiving your spouse.
When I read your thread, I hear an intelligent, emotional aware woman trying to shift through the crap and work out what the hell went wrong, but is trying to do it with compassion and understanding. Compassion and understanding is a big ask on us - we've been lied to, treated with utter disrespect, seen our worlds blown up and made to believe we are not good enough - and yet you, you still speak of him with such compassion. Lesser people would have folded.
