Each of you have a separate goal to achieve and both are a long way away.
To be quite frank you are not in the "hopeful" league yet to consider that any action she does now is for reconcilliation. My bet is it is for manipulation.
To be sincere and it may sound harsh and be against what others think, I really suggest you not focus on your wife right now (basically shut her out) but on yourself and for 2 reasons.
1) I do not see her ready to do anything with you and is playing you. If you are suckered you will be here in a year or so with even less credibility than before with your wife. You need to make yourself unavailable right now. Empty the hurt and the primary feeling of needing her back at any cost. She also has to feel your loss, your unavailability and show it.
2) Even if she works on the relationship you are still the same flawed person before BD but with the addition of being vulnerable. You need to improve yourself for you not her and if you do things the right way you will notice the changes in many ways, including seeing her differently. Not changing yourself and having her change will mean you will also be here back again in some time.
Even if you get to the stage where you both want to make it work, piecing is just as hard and requires you be on top of your game to make it work and we are talking years of being under scrutiny and under pressure to make it work.
