Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 4

[Davide]

Thanks twofeet! I appreciate the lurkers as well as the regular contributors. I keep an eye on your sitch as well.

I hear your Ovr. You can definitely kickstart things. However, one of my mantras in this whole process is "Action precedes motivation." If you just sit around waiting for motivation to strike you, you won't get very far at all. Just getting up and doing something, making the choice to act and engaging your body/mind in whatever it is - that is the key step, and often times motivation will follow. Similarly with relationships, sure it is easy to express our love through actions when we are feeling great or in that infatuation period, but the real work is in acting love when we don't feel like it. Choosing to love anyway.

You are 100% right that if my W chose to act in a different way, chose to love unconditionally, that it is possible that her feelings would change. In fact that already happened. About 3 years into our marriage in the depths of her depression I got the "I don't feel the same about you" which spooked the crap out of me. However, we were able to rekindle the feeling and to choose to love one another again. So, I know the truth in that. Emotions and feelings are fickle. Love shouldn't be.