Moving past the WAW to a stronger me Pt. 4

[Davide]

Ovr,

She left the note because it was my birthday. I think it was as simple as that.

What do you mean "one gets you the other," when talking about love as a feeling or an action? I think a lot of us, myself included and definitely my W, get way too wrapped up in our feelings and place an inordinate amount of importance on them. What really counts are your choices and actions though. There's a great scene in the show Bojack Horseman where the titular character (who is a complete f@ck-up) asks his friend if she believes he is a good person "deep down." She responds by telling him that she doesn't believe in "deep-down" but that "all you are is the things that you do." I think that is pretty much the case as well.

Solo, Please give yourself a big hug on my behalf. My respect for anyone strong enough to do what you have been doing is immense. It is an inspiration.

I get what you are saying about unconditional love. However, you are looking at it from the point of view of the LBS. You love your H unconditionally even if you don't very much like right now. I am looking at it from the perspective of the WAS who claims to harbor the same unconditional love but whose actions belie those words.

In terms of indifference, sure, the absence of any feeling is the opposite of the fullness of love. I don't know that it is necessary to get all the way there though in order to be detached. They talk about loving detachment, and as slippery as that is to get a hold of as a concept, I think it is possible to achieve. Many years ago, when I was a teenager, my younger brother died. The grief and trauma was overwhelming at the time, but I eventually (after years) reached a point of detachment where it no longer hurt to see his picture or talk about him, I was detached in that sense, but still carrying much love in my heart for him. Ultimately, I think that is the goal here as well.

Neffer,

¡Qué bárbaro, hermano! Thanks for the support from el cono sur. I don't doubt my path at this point, I only wish that I were better able to enjoy the struggle, appreciate the process. I know there is no destination waiting out there, no happiness around the corner, no light at the end of the tunnel. There is simply more process, more struggle and it is up to me to find meaning and joy in it.

I have a lot to do around the house to get ready for my get together this evening. (no te conté, pero voy a hornear empanadas del día de acción de gracias - rellenas con pavo, papa dulce, y arándanos, son deliciosas!) But I'll try to catch part of the clasico on tv if I can. I got to watch one game in La Bombonera and it was a crazy experience, I can hardly imagine a super-clasico like this there.