. So I kept myself busy this afternoon installing my new printer. ( I am not a tech person at all, that was H area, but it was fairly straight forward and is working now.
Well done, the more you do for yourself, the more he will see that you are coping without him, but more importantly, the more self respect you will gain.
Originally Posted by kiwi
Should I go along the friends path or tell him I cannot do friendship at the moment (but that would be Rtalk) or just distance myself?
What you are essentially saying is that you want to give him an ultimatum. Ultimatums are just an extreme way of saying boundaries. And you can't have boundaries without stating consequences. If you truly believe friendship (pretend or not) is not possible, then you should tell him that. But be prepared for the consequences of 'well that's all I can offer for now'. Don't set boundaries/ultimatums unless you're willing to live with the consequences. If you can't live with the consequences he will lose respect for you. There is no true reconciliation without respect.
Like DjV, I would recommend just distancing yourself. Your H can't give you what you want right now. The friendly thing is [censored] but you will get through it. You are stronger than you think.
Originally Posted by kiwi
I know at the moment there is no OW but I cannot do friendship because it will break my heart all over again if there will be O W in the future.
Whether OW is a deal broker for you today, may be very different to whether it will be a deal breaker for you in the future. Even if there is not one now (and I believe you when you say there isn't one), there will be an OW at some point as your H tries his new life on for size. I thought it would be a deal breaker for me, but it hasn't been. I understand why he did (does?) it. And TBH, I think the shock of my finding out has had a worse effect on him than it has had on me. He looked like [censored] in the weeks following and it was after I found out that he started making a concerted effort to be nicer and around more.
Don't think about him being with another woman. It will drive you insane.
