I can't imagine how hard it must be for people with in-house separations. Still it is clear to me through her actions that she actively chooses not to love me. Regardless of that, I wanted to focus on me and how I chose to behave and how well it aligned with my values. I chose to be friendly and positive but brief.
I have had an in-house separation (6 months of toxic hell) followed by 3 months of seeing him briefly during swap over (brief, to the point interactions) and more recently, the last 4 months or so, him increasingly being friendly to me. It means that I overanalyse every interaction (why did he do that, why did he say that, why did I do that). It would be easier to not see him. But, then I would not see him.
Originally Posted by ovrrnbw
I think the WAS will always see love as a feeling and the LBS will always see it as an action or choice. It's both. One gets you the other.
I agree with Ovrnnvw but want to extend on it a little ... love is a choice and a feeling, one feeds the other. But once it takes hold, love becomes binary. You do or you don't. You may not always like the person, but you love them none the less. That is unconditional love. That is the love I have for my children. It is the love I have for my H.
The opposite of love is not hate. It is indifference. I suspect it is easier to get to indifference when you have the time and space to forget about them.
