wondering if a day will ever come when my H is not the last thing on my mind when I go to sleep and the first thing I think of when I wake up. (
I wonder the same. It is harder to detach when they are so much a part of our lives. I know the obsession is not healthy. I have been trying guided mediation. Letting Go of Emotions, Forgiveness (forgiving me and forgiving him). It makes me feel a bit more grounded. There are a lot of them on YouTube.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
Still...I know that he feels crappy about how he has treated me but, at the same time, has managed to justify most of it, I think. He's not happy therefore blowing up our family is, although regrettable, just a necessary step towards finding happiness. Everyone will be fine in the end. In a sense, I suspect he has made himself a bit of a martyr in the picture.(
Everyone creates a narrative in their head that paints themselves in a better light but after time, those illusions he has created to protect himself will fall away. He will take a proper look in the mirror and see what he has done. He will know what he has done. Whether he has the courage and humility to admit it to anyone other than the person he sees in the mirror depends on the type of man he is, and also, the type of woman you are. Do you keep the fires burning waiting for that day. Only you know.
Originally Posted by DejaVu6
I am sad to say it but that really is the person I married. It is hard to have hope when I really take those factors into consideration.
I think, at least today, in your head, you have answered my question above. But, this journey has ebbs and flows and tomorrow you may feel different. He may do something that reminds you of why you married him in the first place (for me it is watching him with the children, it was having him hold me in his arms that day). I suspect over time, the ebbs and flows will even out and you will know, with certainty, if you want him back.
