[AnotherStander]

I then made a huge mistake, I'm human, so please don't judge me too harshly. I first thanked him for opening up to me. I thanked him for being honest with me. Here is where I made the mistake and broke the rules...

I told him that he had unrealistic expectations for what he wants in a spouse and a marriage. I told him he wants a woman that looks good all the time and is ready to have sex on a whim. I guess she is not supposed to be a mother and have a life. She just needs to be ready to have sex with you when you like.

I then pointed out that it doesn't seem like he is willing or has what it takes to make a long-term relationship work. I told him he expects all his needs and wants to be met but isn't willing to do the work to satisfy his spouse's needs and wants. He is very one-sided.

I told him that he wants a woman that is fun and spontaneous, yet he is boring. He doesn't initiate date nights or anything.

I told him that he wants a woman that maintains her weight and appearance, yet he isn't maintaining his.

So needless to say, I know I shouldn't have said all of that. I am still in the process at Detaching, so I am a work in progress.

Are you kidding??? THAT WAS AWESOME!!!! The classic mistake here is to say "oh but please give me another chance, I can be all of that and more to you!!" I love that you put him in his place. DB'ing is all about validation but when you're dealing with a pouty MLCer it's like a child that demands candy in the checkout line. You don't validate crap like that, you have to be firm with them. Well done!

I will say that some of what I am doing is working. Because he said it's weird, he doesn't feel like he has that spark for me anymore but lately, he has been wanting me real bad.

Well he just wants you sexually, and you really don't want to go there after being preached to about what a terrible wife you are. Keep holding the line on that. He's got a long, LONG way to go before he hits bottom and realizes how bad he's screwing up. In the meantime you need to be patient.

I do have a question for anyone that can help. Do I still do his laundry during this? We normally do each other’s laundry. Like if we are doing laundry, we have always just washed the other persons things as well. Do I cease doing that and only focus on my laundry. I’m not trying to be mean but I just want to know how I should handle that.

Does he still do it sometimes too? If so then keep doing what you've been doing like LH said. Also, go out and get yourself some sexy new panties and start wearing them. I would love to see his face when he finds those in the laundry. Make him wonder what you are up to.