An old mindset for Burned. This is thread 8.

[burned]

At this point if I file for D it just comes across as capitulating to what she's already pushing for.

Is that bad? Do you need to diametrically oppose her...just....because.
It's about figuring out what is best for YOU.
What do you need to regain your confidence? What do you need to do in order to learn more alpha tendencies?

Talked about this in IC this morning. I need to be doing things to show myself that I respect myself and that I am committed to my own survival. Filing isn't for her, it's for me. It doesn't make sense to be married to her at this point, and the financial risk is increasing. It doesn't seem like she WON'T do it, but it would be on her time and her terms, and that's sort of weak. It means I just sit here waiting in fear. So I need to take action there. I also have to build up the courage to have a very difficult conversation with my employer. (It has been a rough week.)

I was a lost puppy whose owner decided to walk away.

There's a good description of me! Now I need to become a big dog.

For me, I pictured Jim Carrey in "Yes, man." What do you have to lose?

That movie jumps into my head a lot when people talk about GAL. And it was one of "our" favorite movies so I try to avoid thinking about it at the moment. That, plus the theme song "Separate Ways" which is like THE defining song of my life these past months, PLUS the fact that Zooey Deschanel is the topic of the Death Cab for Cutie song "Black Sun" about her breakup with Ben Gibbard, which was a song I was listening to a lot up until BD without even having a CLUE what was in store for me. Sigh... Not saying that to wallow, more just to have a little laugh at myself and all the silliness. :P