Still Lost pt3

[lost8]

Update, I have been busy at work the last few days and need to get caught up.

W has been working from home which is West Coast based and keeps her busy until 8PM most days. I have been doing my usual getting home working out and running out for stints in the evening. She keeps asking me where I am going and wants me to be with her most of the time even while she works. Things are going a bit better and she is much happier in her new job. She had expressed for the last few years that her past job/boss was adding to her pattern of abusive relationships and had been looking for an exit to leave for a while.

W has second IC appt today and actually seems excited because the first one worked out well. It only took about three months to get her to start going as she was caught up in a bad cycle not just with A but the drugs and alcohol. This is big for her to want to sort out her feelings, she has never been one to give in to needing/wanting therapy.

We did have a brief outburst earlier in the week regarding her leaving last Sunday and staying out. She said I hurt her bad when I acknowledged the cheating that a friend's BF had done to her and she reacted the wrong way. I briefly said that this can't happen and whatever ideas she has of working things out will come to a halt very quickly.

I know I acted passive aggressively when I high fived the girl at the bar and admitted that, it is something that I must work on.

W did some more opening up last night. It started out about venting about our families and the lack of respect that she gets and at first I was thinking of defending by saying you are the cause of all this and they are only reacting to you. I quickly caught myself and realized that all she was doing was venting and I didn't need in to "fix" what was going on. Phew.I'm getting better because the fixing part usually turns in to a fight.

She then just started dumping her feelings all at once about how relieved she is to be out of her old job..back working at home...being a mom to S14 again...feeling happy again. She went into a brief description about how she doesn't understand how she would just act almost unconsciously, she referenced "both" times and I didn't ask what she was referring to but I was thinking about recent A and one 10 years ago. She said she was running from the pain. W still has a lot of internal pain and issues from the past that she seems to want to sort out but things seem to getting slightly better.

I am approaching all of this with eyes wide open, I am more comfortable in my life now regardless of the outcome but for the meantime relieved that at least W can be there for S14 as he seems relieved as well to have a part of her back. I am doing my best me and hope I will keep moving forward with progress as well as W.