It seems you are in a hurry to go somewhere you don´t even know if you want to get there...
Take your time Hurt. Relax. I know it´s not easy. Then let restart from the beggining. Read Cadet´s first post. It has lot of info. Choose there what to read: Detaching, GAL, Validating. ...
You need TIME and PATIENCE.
Take your time.
No more R talks, detach please and get out of her way. You control yourself, nothing more, nothing less.
Keep posting, you´ll get the help here. Help yourself. You can do it man, be strong, be consistent with your actions.
Sending you a big hug ((((Hurt))))
You need to take your time, please understand it´s a marathon...
