[Living]

Wow! Today was the first time he has ever left the house without kissing me on my check and saying have a good day.

I know how much all those firsts hurt. My H use to kiss me goodbye everyday and sign off all phone calls with 'ok, love you'. One day they just stopped. You are right, he is detaching too. He doesn't know what he wants, and his head doing these little things are 'giving you hope'. This was my H go to phrase whenever I mentioned something (him taking his ring off, him not signing off his texts with 'x' etc).

Pretend it has no effect on you (really hard I know).

Thank you for sharing your experience with this FS. For the past 3 weeks that we have been on this roller coaster ride he has always still kissed me before he left for work. It’s been that way our entire marriage. So yes it’s really hard knowing that today he didn’t do that. Breaks my heart a little.

Yesterday he told me that he will always love me. I think that’s his way of saying goodbye. He also so said that his therapist told him that it’s not a good idea to move to another state until he works on fixing himself. I told him that I wasn’t aware that he was thinking of moving to a new state. He said he hadn’t made a decision to do that but he just wasn’t sure what he would do. Basically moving to another state was one of his options. He said that he was going to really focus on fixing himself.

I’m glad he went to therapy. I’m also glad he’s receptive to the advice the therapist gave him. I’m glad that he seems to be ready to attack his demons and work on himself. I truly hope he does that. No matter what happens to us, I do wish the best for him and want him to be happy.

He even had the nerve yesterday to say that my new man is going to love me. Like what?

This is a hard journey but I’m trusting my higher power. I’m a believer and I believe that God will work all this out for my better good. This is life...not the life I planned...but life.