[Living]

So how is it possible that you want to have sex with the woman you're ready to leave, are no longer attracted too, isn't doing it for you anymore, and who you are no longer in love with.

It is called control. I am not sure he believes the garbage he spewed at you. My guess is that when he said thing like that to you in the past, you bent over backwards to make him happy. You cooked his favorite foods. Bought him gifts. Gave him sex.

So now when he wants something he tells you things like that to scare you into submission.

Also, I see nothing wrong with much of what you said. Though I would like to know what you said to him at 2:30 am. Preferably something like: "You just told me you were firing me as your W, and now you are in here expecting sex like a H would?!? Get the heck out of here right now."

Men can have sex with a hole in the wall. (Quoting Dr. Laura here.) We are interesting creatures. Our sexual discrimination is very low, but we think that if a woman lets us have sex with her then she must love us.So can a man have sex with someone he doesn't love? Absolutely. Does he believe a woman can? Absolutely not.

Steve85, thank you for the male perspective on sex. I truly appreciate that. As a woman it is hard for me to think of having sex with someone I am not attracted to. Especially at this age. However, you are correct and my therapist said the same thing. She said when a man has sex with a woman he thinks she loves him. My husband keeps telling me daily that he "still loves me". He also says he knows that I still love him. However, I haven't uttered the words I love you in 2 weeks.

Oh and when he said some of the same things to me last year during the affair, I bent over backwards for him. He's never really said these things prior to that, but you are correct.

At 2:30 in the morning, I asked him what the He&% he was doing in the bed with me. He said he had to use the restroom so he climbed in the bed after that. I told him he passed up the hall restroom when he came into our room. As he persisted to touch all on me, I told him to get up and go to bed, that I wasn't interested. I may have been a little too sleepy to remind him what he said the night before. lol. He let out a big sigh (like a little kid), left the room and I rolled over and went back to sleep.

Earlier today before we both left for the day, he asked for a hug. I went in to give him a hug and he tried to kiss me. I turned my face. I told him to listen, I am trying to give you a hug as you asked. I said a hug is just a hug, it doesn't come with a kiss. I told him that I was setting a boundary that he can only hug me like you would hug a stranger or someone at church. I said no full on body to body contact. Just a friendly hug. He asked me was I serious. I said yes. I then demonstrated to him what I was talking about. He was shocked. He left the room in tears. I will admit that I felt bad because my intention wasn't to make him cry. I asked him why he was crying and apologized for his tears. He said I didn't do anything wrong and that he was going to miss me. He then left. I have never seen this man cry this much. We went from me only seeing him cry when his father died to him crying off and on for the past few weeks,