I have definitely come a long way since BD in all aspects of life. I feel like I understand things much clearer now and I know exactly what I am looking for in a partner.
I think as long as it all makes sense to you, then that's totally fine.
On the other hand, IC does sometimes give you other perspectives to take into consideration and think about. And those can end up being game changers.
On this:
Originally Posted by pinn
But I could always be more open and honest about how I am feeling.
I was actually just reading about intimacy and co-dependency today. Not saying you are co-dependent, or have been in the past...I don't know. But I read a few a interesting things about intimacy and how to become more intimate with another person. A lot of it was about being open and honest with the other person about your own feelings (whatever they may be).
I guess I had some trouble with this in my M. I don't think I expressed myself enough or in a positive way. Not meaning that what I might have to say was positive or negative, more about *the manner* in which I expressed myself as well as the depth of it.
Again, you could trace that back to whether I felt safe or not, both in my M and growing up. I don't really want to get sidetracked as to the specific reasons why I don't feel safe growing up - I know what they are (and funnily enough it was an IC that pointed this out to me, in one sentence she said). But for the purposes of where we're at now, and how we're moving forward, the question for me is how I can become more honest and expressive?
I know that most of the people I meet find me very open and expressive and easy to connect with. I meet a lot of people because I work in two different fields, and I work a lot with different teams, different industry professionals and members of the public too.
I think it's maybe because I'm very clear about being interested in them (I really am), the passions I have in my life and how I articulate them. People describe me as charming. So maybe it's about joining up what's on the surface to what's deeper inside me and being more genuinely clear and expressive about that? For me, anyway...that might not work for you?
