I never liked IC either. I felt like it was no different from talking to a good friend.
I did not like the alanon meetings either. Too many rules and it reminded me of church (which i never went to) in that every one just reads passages over and over. It was not for me.
Regarding alcholism and drug addiction. I get that its a disease. Its a really sad disease. Its a disease thats powerful enough to break mother-child bonds. But its different then cancer. Theres a way out. A chance to fight addiction. Cancer does not give someone that.
The issue seems to be that the person denies there is a problem. And the people that surround that person sometines enable that thought process. My ex was a secret addict. If i had known, i would have harassed him and sought interventions. I think he knew that. And when it became inevitable that i was about to find out (financial questioning) he twisted things to sabatoge a marriage and blamed everything on me. It was gaslighting and distraction. He moved back in with his mom who continued denying and enabling (despite me giving her proof)
The other issue is that they need to want it badly enough. They need to value someone or sonething else more then the addiction. Theres a selfishness there. To me, my son is just so important to me. An addiction would take away so much from him that i would be willing to seek any intervention and medical help to stop.
I hope your dad is ok. I would imagine addiction is a very lonely and enpty life. I am glad you are able to be empathetic to him but still live your own life.
