13 years and two small children

[Hurt213]

Journaling:

Today was a tough day. I have spoken to our mutual friend, and told her that I no longer want / need information about WW, as it is actually not a help but it keeps me caught instead of being able to detach and find my self again.

She could see how that made sense, and promised not to relay any information regarding WW in the future, unless it was something that would be harmful to me or the kids.

She did text me (and thats when I replied the above), that WW and OM are meeting today in a forest to talk about their relationship, and that OM wants a third chance. This morning WW only had 5 minutes to help with the kids, because she was busy making herself "ready" in the bathroom. I tried not to mind and just have fun with the kids and make them ready for daycare.

When she came out of the bathroom, she looked amazing (hard to not see - yea im still detached i know, and I am working on it every day). She asked me about what my day would bring, and that today was going to be a long day at work, but her and her female colleagues would stay at school all day and have a great and fun day (yea this is when I really get angry, there is no need to lie and manipulate - I know this is the WW way, but it still hurts).

I am having a really hard time figuring out how to be around her, and maybe I am being a fool, maybe I am not understanding things right, but do I ignore her, when she asks me about things such as smalltalk and my job and whatnot? The last evenings I have been coming home from the gym and just headed straight to bed instead of staying in the living room with her - Is this what I should do ? I am still a bit confused. She is acting like she is just going to work, coming back home and being a family (cake-eating I know)... Or do I just answer short but in a happy mood?

I dont trust her one bit at this stage, I know I am in for the long run, I know I want to R as of now, but I am beginning to feel like I might be shifting - and therefore I need to attend to my needs, but I also have hope for the fact that she wakes up and wants to fight to get back on track (yes it would be her that had to prove that over a long time).

Today I am going to have fun with the kids, go to the park and feed the ducks, then dinner and when WW gets home I will be going to the gym. After gym I will be going straight to bed, I don't want to hear about her day (is this right?)

I feel like detaching = Having to ignore her requests to smalltalk, going around acting like she does not exist, even though we are in the same room?? I might be going about this wrong.

I feel more happy at the moment, looking forward to doing things on my own.

She requested that we waited till after christmas to put the house for sale, do I honor that request (if she wants to move out, she does the dirty work?) or do I push for a sale now, to show her that I am moving on ?