I am the one who should have no respect for her. I didn't cheat, I am not a liar, I took my vows to her and God serious. I am the one who takes care of themselves physically. I have always tried to improve myself and this D has just really opened up my eyes and kicked it into high gear for self improvement. Mentally and emotionally improving, I was already working on the physical aspect well before BD. I am working on improving my parenting, playing both the mom and the dad because I have to. I don't go out and buy my kids affections (W did that today for D8 because D8 caught her in a lie) I know I am the better person. I know I contributed to her actions, I can point to things in the last 5 years of our MR that contributed to this. I have apologized to her to no avail and honed up to my mistakes. However, there wasn't really anything I can point to in this last year that contributed to her actions. So likely she likely built up years of resentment because of me with unrealistic expectations towards me. She never really tried dealing with her depression, or dealing with her ptsd, or dealing with her grass is greener syndrome, but having a H that always has wanted to work on the M and work things out and help however he could even if he wasn't well equipped and still tried.
I could have written these word in my threads.
Keep DBing. Keep your focus on being "supper dad". Keep focusing on personal growth.
You are on the right path and are going to come out of this process fine. Better than fine, you will look back and be thankful for it.
It is the best worst thing that ever happened to me.
I hope time and space and the reality of everything brings wisdom to your W. Love her by lettering her go.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
