I fully intend to keep up on my DB activities and will not give up my new schedule or hobbies. As mentioned above the end goal is to have a new and better relationship, there is no going back to the way things were.
I am still putting together my list and yes it includes a lot of the things already mentioned.
Here are some of my initial thoughts:
Full Transparency (Passwords, access to emails, voicemails, texts whether I actually want to look at them or not) Positive confirmation that there is no more contact with the OM* Honesty and Openness Commitment to putting in the necessary work Continue with IC to work on self and address issues from past abuse MC Fun spending quality time with each other (Joint activities and dates)
I put an * next to the OM, because I am not sure how to solve that issue since it is a co-worker of hers and there will be contact at work. I don't think it is reasonable for me to expect her to quit her job in order to stop contact, right? Or is that my NGS clouding my judgement. The issue with the A is going to be tricky for me to navigate as I feel I need to walk the fine line in making sure she is truly sorry and sincere about her change and punishing her/making her feel back just because of a mood swing of mine. I need to be firm, but just if that makes sense.
Also, she mentioned last week that she was going to call her Attorney to stop the D. I originally told her that was no rush to make decisions and that we are just going to go slow and take it day by day. She now wants to discuss our living arrangements (we are currently separated) and I am sure that she wants to come home. Would it be reasonable for me to add that if she wants to move back in our house that she also needs to stop the D in addition to satisfying my other non-negotiables? Or is that a reach? I guess my line of thought is, if she is serious about making it work then there should not be this weight hanging over our heads. I just don't want to pressure her unnecessarily.
